Moping about Groping

So after getting groped twice at one show last year I was sexually assaulted at Aftershock. I thought I’d processed the whole thing but since this comic sort of exploded out of me yesterday I realized I still had something to say about it.
This was SUCH A WEIRD THING. I think I’ve had trouble understanding that it actually happened because in the moment it felt like a reprimand, a display of disapproval, and not much else. For a while I was more incredulous than anything - thinking along the lines of “REALLY, dude? That’s your response to not getting what you want? Grow the fuck up.”
But I’ve been looking at my pictures from Aftershock and remembering. I’m remembering an older man telling me “don’t worry, I’m not going for your ass - if I wanted to grab your ass I’d already have a handful”; the large man in the crowd who started grinding on me when he couldn’t knock me down (he also screamed “cunt” in my ear); the gropings and spankings of women who were crowdsurfing; and, of course, Stupid Hat McFingerblast and his over-the-pants assault.
And for anyone who’s thinking, “oh, that’s not such a big deal” or “over-the-clothes doesn’t count” (which, let’s be honest, is why I felt bad making a deal out of this for so long, even as someone who is well educated about consent and rape culture I keep thinking to myself “well, it could have been worse” and “oh, I mean there wasn’t even skin-to-skin contact” and this is AFTER I’d planned my festival clothing to be tight, durable, non-revealing clothing specifically because of the victim-blaming warnings given to women about assault at festivals):

• From a legal standpoint, at least in California, you are wrong.
• This shit left me with a bruised and bleeding pussy, which would count as battery even aside from the fact that it was unwanted sexual contact.
• Fuck you.

Anyway, I don’t know what the takeaway here is. Like, obviously, yeah, don’t sexually assault people. But I don’t know what to tell people who become victims of sexual assault at concerts and festivals. It’s a situation that’s unbelievably open to abuse - you’re packed in with a ton of other people, there’s no easy way to quickly move to a safer space, it’s too loud to be heard if you’re not literally screaming directly into someone’s ear so it’s hard to ask for help. I know the answer isn’t “just don’t go to shows” but I don’t know what the answer is. At the moment I’m just telling my story. Here’s what happened to me. I know it’s happened to a lot of other people too. Believe us. And let’s figure out how to make it so this doesn’t happen anymore.